Dante needs a vacation. If you’re unfamiliar with Dante Aligheri, he’s the writer and poet that blended mythology, political affairs, and Christianity to create the Divine Comedy, which features his accounts of hell and his hierarchy of the seven deadly sins, including (dun, dun, duh)... SLOTH.
For Dante, sloth was a sin so horrible that
not only did it keep you from heaven but you were also punished with math homework for the rest of your life (at least that’s how I read it). While Dante describes sloth as the 4th level of Purgatory, the slothful actually reside in the Central American country of Costa Rica. In Costa Rica, Dante might’ve learned how to live the Pura Vida, the Simple Life that causes you to appreciate and ponder the beauties of life. Yes, it’s a slice of heaven on earth.
Having visited dozens of tropical destinations, I assumed Costa Rica would be another Cancun, Cozumel, or Cabo. The most unique feature of the country (besides its ever-present Pura Vida reminders) is the development of Eco-tourism. Mexican resorts, in contrast, seems to be bulldozing nature to put up more concrete castles whereas Costa Rica has decided to place nature first. The entire marketing campaign is featuring the jungle (rather than clearing the jungle). Clearly, Costa Rica is not meant for the typical spring breaker but instead for a person who wants to escape from civilization.
Destination #1-The Volcano
Oh, boy, I was not ready for the ride to the hotel. I get motion sickness if I’m not sitting in the front seat, and knowing that Costa Rica was a small country, I underestimated the intensity of the rugged roads and thick jungle. The twists and turns quickly got to me as our guide kept pointing out cool trees, plants, and animals (so many animals). Yet touring from the backseat is not the way to take in this place.
The next morning, when my head and stomach stopped spinning, I opened the blinds to see something out of King Kong or Jurassic Park—a towering jungle volcano right out of our window.
My normal jam is to visit historical or eccentric locales, but this trip was dedicated to adventure. Our excursions were intended to wear us out. We first chose kayaking Arenal Lake at the base of the volcano. Unfortunately, we were cheated on the experience when storms rolled right end. Despite the constant rain and wind, it was a warm jungle. We’re from Minnesota. This wasn’t bad weather—it was like standing in the bathroom shower. With so much rain, the rivers and creeks were flowing and we went up narrow passages with as much jungle above our head as below our kayaks.
Another excursion was zip-lining. Normally, this is where I tap out. Now, I’m not afraid of heights, but I just find physics to be a bit predictable (ooh, I’m experiencing gravity, ahh). But in Costa Rica, they set up the zip line course to show you the wildlife. We went over caverns, waterfalls, and jungle canopies like we were some big jungle bird out flying around. Best ziplining experience ever, but when it rains, it does smart a little if you go too fast.
Did I mention Costa Rica is a rainforest? Do. Not. Underestimate. The. Rain. Wowzers, did it rain. Remember the adage about not driving across flooded roads? Well, Costa Rica has a solution for that. I should have noticed that all the four-wheel-drive vehicles also had snorkel exhaust systems in case the water got too deep. With flooding happening every other day, they’re used to it (like a Minnesotan can drive on ice). That’s part of the charm.
Destination #2-The Beach
What goes up must come down. Since we’d flown into the central area of the country and driven up into the mountains, our only choice was to come back down those same mountains. I managed my motion sickness much better, and whenever the driver would tempt me with “Look, a sloth” or “Did you see those monkeys?” I’d just keep my eyes forward to avoid getting sick. It was really cool to see how the government made such an effort to manage agriculture and development so that Costa Rica could keep tourism such an important part of the economy. From drivers to waiters, they seemed to take pride in what they were doing (I didn’t bring up the Dust Bowl issues America had back in the day).
When we came down the mountain, we came out of the jungle and—bam! There was our hotel on the Pacific Ocean. No busy interstate system. No urban sprawl. Compared to the massive bay of Puerta Villarta, where you can see hundreds of hotels, the jungle still dominated the landscape at the Hotel Riu Palace Costa Rica. While the resort complex gave us everything any other resort had, it felt strangely isolated from the world. Our beach, while not the nicest sand I’ve ever seen, felt authentic. We actually had to go looking for neighbors. Rumor had it there was something called the Monkey Bar, and if you took a right at a certain tree, you’d find this cool bar just a few yards from sight. And there it was! (but the monkeys were sleeping).
And that’s the point of Costa Rica. If you’re not swinging in the trees like a monkey, then the second best thing to do is act like a sloth, which we did for our final days of this peaceful vacation.
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